I Wish I Was Roger Clemens

If only I could be injected with an anti smoking steroid. I would also take it in the belly button. Or, maybe in the butt. Still not sure. All I know is that I am going crazy. But, it is almost over. It’s been two and a half days and while I am driving Shorty […]

Paradise Lost

There is no Satan or Lucifer in this story. The closest you will get is the maĆ®tre d at Pacifica seafood. This guy has balls. But, I’ll get to that soon. Waking up in 2008 was no different then waking up in 2007. I can attest to that. However, I did wake up in Palm […]

Have a Great 2008

Let me tell you that Monopoly with debit cards is Bull Sh*t. First of all, you can’t get free parking since there is nothing in the middle to take. Second, instead of Boardwalk and Park Place there is Times Square and Fenway Park. Fenway Park? Are the Parker Brothers high? Like really. And rent on […]

Returning Life to Walmart

Normally, I would wait until the end of the day to write. However, this morning was so perfect I have to share. The Persian and Shorty went to pick oranges this morning. I don’t know the exact legalities of it, but since there was no angry neighbors running after them with a pitchfork, I assume […]

I Am Popular

I got jarred awake this morning by shorty’s cell phone. Who would be calling at such an early hour? Of course. Shorty‘s mother. Now normally, this wouldn’t seem so out of sorts, but today it was. She was in the other room. But, I understand. We had things to do. Places to go. And we […]

The Rapture

I am changing. Not like baby diapers. Not like clothes. Not even like a cashier. I realized today that something is changing inside me, and I am not sure I like it. Let me give you the scenario. I was working on some stuff, drinking coffee. I mean Decaf. (sign number one) Realizing I was […]

Jiggaty Jig

I have written a lot over the past few days. Persians, Mexicans, South Africans, Australians. It’s been fun. But over the past week, I have been taken out of my element just a bit. Now the weekend is almost over. Time to get back to things. What better way to wrap up a week of […]