All Entries Tagged With: "Lead Story"
Lead Story
Long day.
Still can’t talk about it, but lets just say that my life can now be called San Diego Legal.
As I was walking out of the courthouse, there was a nice immigrant selling coffee.
I decided to support him in his quest to better himself and bought a cup.
The coffee was great, but the panini roll [...]
Knocked Up
I can’t believe they made a movie about me.
I just saw knocked up and it was amazing.
So many similarities.
I mean it’s really weird.
Though I will say that I didn’t get fat over a nine month period.
I didn’t work for E.
I also didn’t have a melt down in the middle of a street where I kicked [...]
Bucket of Fire
So now I am thirty.
My back hurts.
My prostate is inflamed.
I hate my kids.
So I did what every 30 year old does.
I went out and bought a sports car.
It’s awesome.
2007 Porche.
Red.
Buckets seats.
Die cast metal.
Fits in my pocket.
You know what also fits in my pocket?
A roll of Tums and Tootsie rolls.
I ate some left over kabobs today.
So [...]
The Roof The Roof The Roof Is On ….
Yeah…..
It was my birthday.
I woke up to fresh Dunkin Donuts coffee and dark chocolate.
No brisket today.
There was a party to be had.
A nice 40 minute drive north and I was working on 3 computers at once.
I love doing it, but the treat was when lunch was served.
Chicken taquitos, chicken nuggets and apple slices.
The apples threw [...]
Last Post In My 20’s
Thirty years and nine months ago my parents made whoopie.
Dad was probably dancing to the sweet sounds of KC and the Sunshine Band.
Mom was doing the hustle.
And after a long night of cigarettes and disco they made a baby.
It was a long 9 months, but it was worth it as a beautiful baby boy was [...]
No Soup For You
This weeks Torah portion talks about Jacob deceiving Esau by telling trading him lentil soup for his birthright.
Dude.
Totally good deal.
I don’t know if I would trade my birthright for some lentil soup, but if it was cream of barley I would be all over it.
We know the rest of the story.
Jacob became king of the [...]
The Holy Grail
You know what?
I don’t care about anything that happened today.
Yes, it started it good.
I was doing some work up North.
True, it was a productive day.
But, as we learn, what goes up must come down.
As I was driving to Hebrew School my car started to smoke.
No, not like Marlboro’s.
Like, thick gray smoke.
So, I open up the [...]
It’s Not Pink…It’s Champagne
Spending 4 hours at Radio Shack is not considered at date.
However, you get to know a lot about someone when you do.
I learned that I am totally ADD.
No question.
I learned that she is something special.
No doubt in my mind.
Maybe she likes dating big kids?
Who knows.
But afterwards, i got to eat a chicken.
Not quite the same [...]
Right Back Where We Started From
Woke up and my body hurt.
I can’t be getting sick again.
No way.
I mean, I live such a healthy lifestyle, how could it be?
So, I get dressed and go to this lunch meeting.
The people were cool.
Non threatening, and one of them was actually from Philly.
It was cool.
We sat there and ate burgers.
I was wondering why they [...]
Wiz Wit
You know, it’s not like me to not have a post up before I go to sleep.
Normally, I am on top of that.
However last night I ate a steak sandwich.
That kind of changes everything.
As I fell into a Philly trance, Rocky music filling my head.
I faded away into a Pats, Gino’s and Tony Luc’s stupor.
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David Feingold has always been a controversial comic.
Being thrown out of Mrs. Blum’s Hebrew class in 3rd grade for reading a Yaakov Smirnoff comedy book during Bible class cemented that for him.Read more...