The difference between Sidney Pollack and Kevin Pollak

Kevin Pollak

What is the difference between Sidney Pollack and Kevin Pollak?

Besides the obvious fact that Sidney has an extra C in his name, my quest to find out is just beginning.

I’ve met Kevin Pollak before at a few events with former CBS news hottie Shira Lazar (still a hottie, no longer with CBS) and later at the Streamy awards. (I mean I think it was Kevin and now that I think about it it could have been Sidney.)

What an embarrassment if it wasn’t Kevin since I talked to him for a while and we seemed to hit it off, but the reason I think I could have confused the two is easy.

Illeana Douglas

What does Illeana Douglas who may or may not be Michael’s sister have to do with me mixing up the Pollack brothers (who may or may not be related)

Well, it’s a funny story really, but it kind of involves Maya Rudolph.

This is what happened.

At the after party for the Streamy awards, I saw a very hot and thankfully very drunk Illeana Douglas whom I approached.

She was very nice and I told her that I was a big fan of hers, which had I shut up just then and there, I probably would have been able to keep chilling with her and her friends, but I had to keep going and tell her that I was a huge Saturday Night Live fan.

At some point during that 30 second exchange she realized that I thought she was Maya Rudolph which still would not have been awkward had I not kept talking and actually said, “I’m so sorry, I thought you were Maya Rudolph”

Straight out of Curb Your Enthusiasm the moment quickly turned weird and I proceeded to go downstairs and bother Kevin Pollak.

Anyway, this all happened over a year ago and I never gave this another thought until two magical things happened.

I saw BridesMaids.

I went to the market to buy some fake crab.

Now I am questioning my own reality.

Did I see Kevin or Sidney?

Are they the same person?

Is fake crab kosher?

I may never find out, but at least I hugged Illeana Douglas.

Kevin Pollak

Kevin Pollak