The past 4 months can only be described in one word.
Before you think that Fat Jewish Guy has become a shill for an Electric Cigarette Company, you should read on to hear my explanation.
Starting in April, life became a bit intense.
Since I didn’t want to have to censor myself, I decided not to write.
Actually that’s not the truth.
Since I didn’t want to potentially end up buried in the Las Vegas desert, I decided for the first time in my life to shut my big fat mouth.
I guess the above statement needs an explanation.
Shorty and I moved into a new condo that needed renovation.
I guess it used to be a drug house and the owner fell behind on his mortgage, so his loss was our win.
If you can imagine what a crack house looks like, well that was pretty much what we got when we moved in, minus the used condoms on the floor, I guess the bank cleaned those up.
Anyway, we were introduced to a contractor through a friend who came to our house and told us not to worry and that he would take care of everything for a really good price.
The big selling point was that this guy remodeled Kareem Abdul Jabbar’s house.
We should have known better.
I mean Kareem Abdul Jabbar is a Muslim.
Everyone knows that they don’t have houses, only Mosques at Ground Zero.
We fell for it though and since he came recommended and was licensed we pulled the trigger and started the job.
To make a long story short, he wasn’t licensed and apparently only did the drywall at Kareem’s house.
You see, Shorty and I had a big blow out fight one day and as I stormed out of the house, I got an urge that I hadn’t felt in over a year.
I wanted a cigarette.
Knowing I would go right back to smoking, I called up a friend and told him to bring me a few SmokeStiks and a box of cartridges.
So, that’s the story in a nutshell.
The contractors ripped us off and I started “fake” smoking again.
I guess it’s all Kareem Abdul Jabbar’s fault.
So, now Fat Jewish Guy is back and better than ever, because I am juiced up on nicotine.
I am so LA now.
In the coming day’s look forward to my exploits in the Valley, the connection between me Katherine Heigl & Barack Obama, (yes there is one) my new diet that makes me afraid to crap my pants and some other surprises as well.
Hopefully the guys at SmokeStik read this and hook me up, since I don’t feel like paying and would rather spend my money on important things like food.