How to eat a watermelon

Let me correct myself.

The title of this post should be, “how to eat a 14 pound watermelon.”

Actually, maybe I should have called it, “how to eat a 14 pound watermelon without spending the whole night peeing”

Such is my life, I was hungry and with fat out of the picture and trying not to eat candy, I had Shorty pick me up a watermelon.

To make a long story short, I didn’t put two and two together and ate the whole thing.

Apparently besides being 98 percent water, these delicious fruits also make you horny.

Don’t believe me?

In watermelons, these include lycopene, beta carotene and the rising star among its phyto-nutrients – citrulline – whose beneficial functions are now being unraveled. Among them is the ability to relax blood vessels, much like Viagra does.

So, let’s recap.

I am up all night, alternating between sitting at my computer horny and peeing while smoking a smokestik and cursing the day I was born.


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