You think I am Charlie?

Dear Eddie Murphy.

I am sorry.

If you’re getting a Google alert please accept my apology and if you happen to be a publicist, please forward my message to Eddie.

This is what happened:

I had a rough day today after going to the dentist and getting 5 cavities drilled.

Shorty went out for dinner, so I decided to take Pretzel for a walk and grab a cup of coffee to wake me up.

I got to Coffee Bean, tied Pretzel to a post and walked inside.

That’s when I saw him.

Standing right in front of me was who I thought was Charlie Murphy.

He was standing with a very good looking woman and they were talking and generally having a good time.

Now, here is where things got interesting.

I thought about saying, “I’m Rick James Bitch!” but I figured he has heard that many times before.

I remember that my cousin used to do Karate at the same Dojo as Charlie Murphy, so I figured I would go up to him and tell him that.

Then my plan was to say something like, “If you ever need a Jeff Garlin look alike, check me out at FatJewishGuy.com.”

It was a good plan, one that generally gets a laugh from people and who knows, Charlie has some connections so you never know.

Anyway, I finally worked up the courage to say something and I walked up to him.

Now, I have no idea why I was so nervous, but I interrupted their conversation and I said, “Mr. Murphy?”

The man turned around.

(Since I said, mr murphy i was still cool)

I then said that I was a big fan.

He said thank you.

Then I said, “My cousin used to spar with you back in New Jersey.”

That’s when he turned to me, and did the Eddie Murphy classic look.

You know the look I mean.

The one that made him famous in Beverly Hills Cop.

And using the famous Eddie Murphy Voice, he said to me.

“You must think I’m Charlie”

I was SHOCKED.

That was Eddie Murphy.

The best stand up comedian EVER.

Had I known I would never have walked up to him.

I just called Eddie Murphy Charlie in front of a woman.

Shit.

I tried to recover, so I said to him, “Well, then my cousin used to kick Charlie’s ass back in Jersey” (I do not know if this is actually true, I am sure Charlie beat my cousins ass a few times)

Then Eddie laughed.

I got the hell out of the Coffee Bean.

I never got the chance to say my website.

I never introduced myself.

I was mortified.

So, I apologize to you Eddie.

In hindsight it is a great story to tell, but I hope I didn’t ruin your night.

I would still like to extend my offer to you that I was gonna give your brother.

If you ever need a funny fat Jewish guy just ask.

I look like Jeff Garlin and can play an Italian if needed.