You think I am Charlie?

Dear Eddie Murphy.

I am sorry.

If you’re getting a Google alert please accept my apology and if you happen to be a publicist, please forward my message to Eddie.

This is what happened:

I had a rough day today after going to the dentist and getting 5 cavities drilled.

Shorty went out for dinner, so I decided to take Pretzel for a walk and grab a cup of coffee to wake me up.

I got to Coffee Bean, tied Pretzel to a post and walked inside.

That’s when I saw him.

Standing right in front of me was who I thought was Charlie Murphy.

He was standing with a very good looking woman and they were talking and generally having a good time.

Now, here is where things got interesting.

I thought about saying, “I’m Rick James Bitch!” but I figured he has heard that many times before.

I remember that my cousin used to do Karate at the same Dojo as Charlie Murphy, so I figured I would go up to him and tell him that.

Then my plan was to say something like, “If you ever need a Jeff Garlin look alike, check me out at”

It was a good plan, one that generally gets a laugh from people and who knows, Charlie has some connections so you never know.

Anyway, I finally worked up the courage to say something and I walked up to him.

Now, I have no idea why I was so nervous, but I interrupted their conversation and I said, “Mr. Murphy?”

The man turned around.

(Since I said, mr murphy i was still cool)

I then said that I was a big fan.

He said thank you.

Then I said, “My cousin used to spar with you back in New Jersey.”

That’s when he turned to me, and did the Eddie Murphy classic look.

You know the look I mean.

The one that made him famous in Beverly Hills Cop.

And using the famous Eddie Murphy Voice, he said to me.

“You must think I’m Charlie”


That was Eddie Murphy.

The best stand up comedian EVER.

Had I known I would never have walked up to him.

I just called Eddie Murphy Charlie in front of a woman.


I tried to recover, so I said to him, “Well, then my cousin used to kick Charlie’s ass back in Jersey” (I do not know if this is actually true, I am sure Charlie beat my cousins ass a few times)

Then Eddie laughed.

I got the hell out of the Coffee Bean.

I never got the chance to say my website.

I never introduced myself.

I was mortified.

So, I apologize to you Eddie.

In hindsight it is a great story to tell, but I hope I didn’t ruin your night.

I would still like to extend my offer to you that I was gonna give your brother.

If you ever need a funny fat Jewish guy just ask.

I look like Jeff Garlin and can play an Italian if needed.

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