I can’t do anything right including this.
After my mother left yesterday I decided to cleanse myself and go on a diet.
So, I did the only thing I know how.
To those of you who don’t know what a laxative is, it is something that makes you poop.
There are many different types, but my favorite is Magnesium citrate.
Magnesium citrate comes in a bottle and tastes like Sprite.
Well, Sprite but salty.
Anyway, you take the bottle, put it in the fridge and then when it’s cold you drink the whole thing.
It tastes kind of bad, so I hold my nose when I drink it.
Then after it’s all gone, you drink an 8 ounce glass of water and then go to sleep.
Now, what is supposed to happen is that while you sleep all of the crap inside of you binds in your stomach and when it gets full, you wake up and poop everything you have eaten in the past week out.
So, last night I drank the stuff, drank the water, put a book in the bathroom and went to sleep.
It’s been a full day and nothing at all.
However, I feel like crap because well, I am full of crap.
Wait and pray.
Pray to the g-d of poop.
Watch this video and feel my struggle with this horrible illness.