What would Nero do?
While the economy is crumbling, the nation is divided and Los Angeles is burning down, I decided to do what every good Nero would do.
I went to Malibu.
There is a place there called The Getty Villa and it may sound familiar because it was just featured in the show Top Chef Masters.
Apparently there was a really rich guy named Richard Getty, who got all of his fourtune from being a NASCAR driver or something like that.
Actually, this isn’t about how he got rich, this is about how one day Getty went crazy and decided to recreate the “Villa De Papri” which had been covered in volcanic ash from when Mt Vesuvius erupted a few years back.
Anyway, they got some architect to redesign the place and they filled it with some ancient sculptures from Rome.
As I was admiring the beauty of these ancient marble statues, I started realizing that they all had something in common.
They all had small penis’.
Now the whole conquering the world thing makes sense.
Also, since the Romans were the ones who started antisemitism I would have to also surmise that the reason that people hate Jews is that they also have small penis’.
But, that is just a thought.