Yesterday I was wearing a hamburger costume and today I was over dressed in my Eagles Jersey. (let me explain)
After the events of yesterday, I never thought that I would be able to top them, however, as I am starting to understand more and more, I was wrong.
Yup, it takes a big man to admit that he made a mistake, and if watching 8 hours of Michael Jackson videos, dressing up in a Hamburger hat and going to a Rock Band competition wasn’t enough, today I grew up so to speak.
Woke up in the morning with a little less phlegm in my throat which was in itself a reason to celebrate.
Took a shower and then applied sunscreen since it was gonna be one of those Convertible Days.
Normally, I wouldn’t have applied sunscreen, but apparently you need to when driving in the sun.
Personally, I thought that since the car was moving you didn’t need it, but apparently I am retarded.
So, I get in my car wearing SPF 50 or something, crank up the stereo and head to Beverly Hills.
Then I got lost.
So, I pull up to a few “urban” gentleman (black guys) who were wearing Michael Jackson shirts standing in front of Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles.
Imagine, me the baddest white guy ever (and hottest guy on facebook) pulling up in my green convertible, while listening to smooth criminal asking a few Urban Men (black dudes) how to get to Wilshire in Beverly Hills??
Apparently they knew though, and I made it there on time.
Got my back and neck adjusted at the Chiropractor and then did some stretching exercises.
Then I headed home.
I had a meeting at Sky Bar.
Sounds glamorous right?
I show up wearing my Eagles Jersey, plaid shorts and converse slip ons fully expecting to see the girl i was meeting dressed in some snappy number that cost way to much and sounds French.
Imagine my surprise when I walk into Sky Bar and realize that shes sitting poolside in a bikini.
Yup…I had a business meeting with two HOT girls wearing bikinis while other Topless Hot Girls dancing go go style around me.
In fact, just look at what I got to see in a Bikini today?
Just to make you jealous, here they are.
It was kinda weird talking to them so after thinking some more about the fashion logistics of the business meeting I decided to take my shirt off as well.
I asked the HOT waitress who was surprisingly also wearing a bikini for a menu and she handed me one.
I fell in love.
They had Kosher hot dogs.
I ordered one, and then realized that I just ordered a 20 dollar hot dog.
Almost reconsidered for a moment, but then I realized that I could write about a 20 dollar hot dog and also impress Shira as well cause I’m a baller like that.
Want to see what a 20 dollar hot dog looks like?
It was pretty good, but only a once in a lifetime meal.
As we walked out of Sky Bar together I looked like a million bucks (actually I looked like a Fat Jewish Guy wearing an Eagles Jersey with two hot chicks who wanted nothing to do with him), but im my head I looked like a million bucks.
Got back into the Beast, (my name for the convertible) and drove to Manhattan Beach.
This was truly the best part of the day.
I saw a friend who I hadn’t seen in over 11 years.
It was weird at first, but after 30 seconds it was like all that time had vanished and we were talking just yesterday in Tel Aviv.
So, we sat and reminisced for a few hours, and then he invited me to a BBQ on Sunday. (Score! Free Food!)
Then I drove home, somehow listening to a Michael Jackson tribute the whole way home.
Stopped at the market and got me some chicken and salad for dinner, (I’m supposed to start eating healthy) came up stairs said h to Shorty, pretended to listen as she told me about her day and then cooked dinner.
Then I almost set the apartment of fire because I was talking about the bikini meeting I had today while video taping my dog humping a pillow. (it’s true…here is the video_
Finally, I pretended to listen to her some more while I ate my chicken, salad, brown rice and cherry 7 Up in a stemmed glass. (cause I am classy)
Wow, what a day.
Can tomorrow top this?
What will I wear?
Maybe my Yankees Jersey with a hamburger hat?
If all I have to worry about are Fashion Logistics I’m lucky, cause it could be worse.