Why You Should Keep Smoking (a catch 22)

Why You Should Keep Smoking (a catch 22)

As many of you know, I have diabetes and I am also Jewish.

The latter has nothing to do with the former, but just thought I would point that out.

Regardless, the past month I have had some health issues that I want to address.

First of all, I need to say for legal reasons, that this is just my personal experience.

I am not advocating doing what I say.

I am just telling you what is going on with my body.

Please, if your son needs Chemo, do not go on the run, get it for him.

Ok, Back to me.

The past month I have been sluggish, sleeping a lot, thirsty and can’t stop peeing.

I started thinking about what could be causing these symptoms.

There was a small possibility that I was hanging out with my puppy too much, but after calling up his Vet, I was told that I was not turning into a dog.

That really made me feel good, but the fact remained that I was not functioning properly.

So, this morning as I was eating a bowl of cereal with frozen yogurt instead of milk, it dawned on me.

My diabetes came out of remission.

Now, before you start yelling at me for eating Fiber One cereal topped with Ben and Jerry’s Frozen Yogurt (strawberry banana) let me tell you that it has the same calories as regular milk, so back off.

Anyway, I noticed that my blood sugar was climbing back up, that I was eating a lot and that I was craving food constantly.

I couldn’t figure out what was causing it.

I knew that I was not pregnant, but what was happening to my body was strange.

Then it hit me.

On March 19th I quit smoking.

Yup, cold turkey, with no gum or patches (but a fake cigarette).

It’s been 2 months now, but I am starting to think that quitting smoking was the worst decision I ever made in my life.

Let me explain.

I, like most smokers, used smoking as a crutch.

It was a way to relax, a way to feel good and a way to combat stress. (plus it looked cool)

I thought that I would do myself a favor by ridding my body of the toxins before I went in for surgery.

In my mind, if I did this now, I would emerge healthier and stronger and ultimately better off.

But, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

See, since I quit smoking I have gained 20 pounds.

Yeah that’s right, 20 pounds in 2 months.

That may not seem like a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but when you have diabetes that is not good.

The weight gain is probably the reason that my arm still doesn’t work.

See, besides the surgery, I also moved to Los Angeles.

That’s a ton of stress to put on a person and with stress there are only 3 ways to deal with it.

Smoking, eating or masturbating.

I don’t want to go blind, so option 3 is off the table.

I quit number 1, so the only thing left to do is eat.

For some reason though, I have been craving sugar and carbs.

These are the two things that will spike your blood sugar and aggravate diabetes.

Still, I know what you are thinking.

Why did this hurt your arm?

Well, as I read online there is something called Neuropathy that can happen due to diabetes.

This means that nerves lose their ability to function properly and can lead to such cool things as amputation.

(by the way only in the medical community could an amputation below the ankle be considered minor, while above the ankle is considered major) (have you ever tried walking without a foot?)

So, what I am trying to say is that by quitting smoking, I actually did not give my arm the best chance to heal.

When I had my first surgery (after 5 days smoke free) my blood sugar was 107 fasting.

It was perfect the doctor said.

To me this means that even though I was inhaling poison, all my nerves were working properly. (except my ulnar nerve)

By the time I had my second surgery three weeks later, my sugar had gone to 135 fasting.

True, this was after a few cupcakes, but the real question is why did I crave those cupcakes?

Now, as I said before, “I am not a doctor.”

I have no idea if these medical conclusions are true.

But, logic would dictate, that I should have waited till AFTER I healed to stop smoking.

Maybe if I had my arm would work, I would be 20 pounds thinner and my blood sugar would be under control.

The other possibility is that the Vet could be wrong and I could be turning into a puppy.