Rosebud

6 hours to surgery.

Today was all about doctors.

First I went to get my second opinion.

The guy came out with large scars on his forearms.

I started wondering who did this doctor’s surgery and maybe I should just go to him.

Anyway, the doctor agreed with the first doctor so the stage was set for surgery at 630 in the morning.

What?

Didn’t you think the surgery was at 8:30?

So did I, until I got a phone call telling me that someone canceled and I had to come in at 630 am.

What was the most frustrating about this is that I couldn’t lie and say I had something planned.

Damn it.

But, the more I think about it the more I have reservations about being the first surgery of the day.

Like, if the doctor is anything like me, he’s gonna stay up all night, around 2am he’s gonna realize he can’t sleep so he takes a benadryl to make sure he gets in his shuteye.

Then, he crawls into bed, still not able to sleep he gets out and makes popcorn.

maybe watches a few episodes of law and order, skipping the intro because who really cares about how they died.

Then he will switch on some news while he eats an ice cream cone.

By now, it’s 4am and the benadryl is starting to kick in, as he is about to pass out he sets two alarms because he needs to make sure he wakes up.

The alarm blares at 5am and the doctor wakes up realizing that he is late.

He hits snooze anyway.

Finally 20 minutes later he gets up, goes in the kitchen and eats 2 apples with peanut butter.

Then he turns on the news and somehow ends up watching a law and order on TIVO.

Then he gets in the shower and eats breakfast in the towel.

Now it’s 6am and the doctor is half asleep as he gets into his car.

he calls the office and tells them that he is 10 minutes away.

He’s not.

At 645 he finally strolls into the office with coffee and a bagel.

It’s at that moment that he does my surgery.

Huh?

Screw that.

I want to be the second guy.

Damn.

Rosebud.