Will I be Loved Like Paul Newman When I Die?
I watched the Academy Awards tonight, which is surprising because Shorty was out of town.
Yup, I thought that I was going to spend the night with some good old Law and Order, but I had to see for myself if this years “Oscars” were really going to be different.
I think I laughed once.
No, not when Steve Martin pretended to be a straight man with Tina Fey by his side.
It was when Hugh Jackman made fun of the fact that he didn’t see “The Reader.”
I learned a lot these Oscars.
The main lesson I got was that everyone in Hollywood supports gay marriage.
Seriously, it was as if there were no conservatives in the whole auditorium.
Second thing I learned was that Jews really do control Hollywood.
I learned this, when they went through their annual list of people who died.
It was actually kind of weird, because Queen Esther (I mean Latifa) was singing live, so the camera didn’t know weather to focus on her or to honor the dead.
Anyway, every single name of the “old school” people that died, ended in Stein, Berg or Gold.
It’s really amazing.
Finally, I was moved by the ovation that Paul Newman got.
He was the last name shown and they kept his clips up for a while.
I wonder how they decide who was the most popular dead person?
Like, some producer was sitting in a room saying that Paul Newman was the best pick and someone else probably was lobbying for Bernie Mac.
How they solved this, I don’t know.
But, it made me think.
When I die, who is going to make clips of me?
Do I get a montage?
It’s kind of depressing if you really think about it.
But, I’m coming up with a plan.
By the way, if Bernie Mac had popcorn would we even have this conversation?