FatJewishGuy.com

How Not To Cheat on Your Girlfriend

I did a bad thing today.

I cheated.

The worst is that I got caught.

This is what happened.

I got an email yesterday from an old college friend.

Not just any friend, but a girl that I haven’t seen in 12 years.

Last I remembered she was cute and when she called to say she was in San Diego for the day, I jumped at the opportunity to see her.

I suggested coffee, she suggested tea, and we settled on a place.

So far there is nothing wrong with what happened, except for the fact that I didn’t tell Shorty.

Not sure why I didn’t, not like anything was going to happen at a franchise coffee chain in 30 minutes.

(although I can do some serious damage in 30 minutes)

Anyway, I went to meet her, and a quick cup of coffee turned into a two hour catch up session.

We spoke and laughed and had a great time, it was as if we were still sitting on the lawn at our college freshman year figuring out what our lives were going to be.

It’s funny, my life pretty much turned out the way everyone thought that it would, but hers had taken some strange turns.

I sat there enamored by her 12 year journey, and finally after two hours I had to cut the meeting short as I had to take a phone call.

We hugged and gave the “friend” kiss on the cheek.

We said we would keep in touch, and then she was gone.

I ran a few more errands and then went to the pharmacy to fill my prescription.

But, I went to the “special” pharmacy.

I know what your thinking, that’s code for a drug dealer.

Nope, by special pharmacy, I mean Rite Aid.

If you are anywhere else but California, you are asking yourself, “what is so special about Rite Aid?”

Well, in California, Rite Aid bought out Thrifty which used to be an Ice Cream Parlour.

The best part is that they kept the ice cream!

So, as I waited for my prescription, I got a waffle cone with one scoop of Rocky Road ice cream.

“Dave, You have diabetes, how could you get ice cream?”

The answer is that I thought of this and even though the cone came with three scoops, I only told them to give me one.

So, I was good.

I get home around 7pm, tired and carrying stuff for our dog.

That’s when I got caught.

Shorty said to me, “Where were you?”

I was like, “wow, I can’t get away with anything, how does she know?”

I told her that I had errands to run all day and then I filled my prescription and came home.

She looked at me and said …,”And?”

I was like, “and what?”

She said, “You know.”

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me angrily accused me of doing something I wasn’t supposed to.

That’s when I came clean.

I told her about my meeting and how it was an old college friend and that she lives in Connecticut and that nothing happened and that I was sorry that I didn’t tell her.

She was still mad.

I asked her why?

She said, it wasn’t the girl, it was the fact that I smelled like Rocky Road.

Busted.

How Not To Cheat on Your Girlfriend

Popularity: 2% [?]