Chocolate Will Blind Me.
For some reason I thought that masturbation would do me in, but I guess I’m home free on that one.
I go to the eye doctor yesterday.
Yeah, I know, he wasn’t a “real'” eye doctor but one that works in a mall.
I’m sure he went to medical school and all, but I also can’t be sure that he didn’t moonlight as the Santa across from his office.
I was nervous enough and since eye doctor’s don’t use laughing gas, I just had to suck it up.
We went through the usual eye tests, first I covered my right eye, then my left, then he took my glasses to check the prescription, a quick testicle exam and finally we sat back down in he chair.
He started to do that thing, “which is better, number one or number two.”
I started to answer his questions to the best of my ability and then the weirdest thing happened.
He kept asking me if, “I was sure?”
“No dude, I’m lying to you. I actually can see but I want a stronger prescription, cause chicks dig thick glasses.”
After a few minutes of me trying to convince him that I really could see, he put me on a table and checked my prostate.
Thank g-d that was ok.
Then I did something called a “field test.”
It was kind of like a video game, however, just as I suck at video games I also did bad on this one.
I got blind spots.
Lot’s of them.
In my left eye.
Then the doctor dropped the bomb on me.
It is possible that my diabetes can make me blind.What happens when you have diabetes is that your blood vessels get weak, and if they bleed into your retinas then you go blind.
The way to fix that is to “solder” your eyes with lasers.
Not sure exactly the correct medical way they use these lasers, but it doesn’t sound fun.
So, I decided to change my life.
Need to take care of myself, not so much for my health, but so I can see.
See all the hot chicks wearing nothing at the beach.
See all the amazing girls walking around the mall.
See all the hot college chicks wearing skimpy clothing at Starbucks.
And of course, see my shorty, who by the way is making me move.
Not exactly sure yet.
However, the company she works for will pay for our move and for storage for one year.
We are going to use this guy.