How to properly atone.
On the eve of this Yom Kippur, I started reflecting.
Reflecting on the past year and everything that I accomplished.
True, there are some things I need to apologize for.
I need to say I am sorry for not taking care of my diabetes, but in my defense, candy is just so damn delicious.
I need to apologize for smoking, but how else can I manage my stress?
I need to apologize to Sarah Palin for starting SarahPalinsVagina.com, but in my defense, someone had to do it.
Barack Obama also should get a mea culpa from me over ObamasChocolateNuts.com, however they are so damn tasty. (see diabetes)
I need to apologize to my family for not calling as much as I maybe should have, but I was really busy eating.
Also my friends deserve a mention, as I sometimes didn’t return phone calls.
Finally, on this evening before Yom Kippur, I need to apologize to Shorty for thinking impure thoughts about this girl below.