Presenting The Poison Potato Chip

Presenting The Poison Potato Chip

If anything is to happen to me in the next day or so, please know that Shorty did it.

I know this sounds like paranoid delusions, but please hear me out.

She is trying to kill me.

I swear.

Want proof?

I went in the cabinet today and say that she bought potato chips.

Ruffles.

Cheddar Cheese flavor.

I was like, “Wow, she is so nice.”

So, I ate half the bag.

Two hours later it hit me.

I was cramping and running to the bathroom non stop.

The pain was incredible.

So, I look at the bag of chips.

They were made with something called Olestra.

Poison.

If you are not familiar with Olestra this is what it does to you.

“Victims reported that olestra’s side effects caused them problems ranging from mild inconvenience to serious safety risks. Olestra made some people soil their clothing at work or school, ruin their vacations, miss work, leave young children unattended, and vomit while driving. Two flight attendants and a military pilot said olestra prevented them from flying.”

Wait a second!

I could have soiled myself?

I can’t be a pilot if I ate these chips.

Please, my time on this planet is short.

If I were to not wake up tomorrow, please know that Shorty did this.

Death by potato chip.

How Ironic.

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