How Can You Defend Those People or Why I am Better Than Michael Phelps

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How Can You Defend Those People or Why I am Better Than Michael Phelps

Today I was simply going to list Why I am Better Than Michael Phelps, then something happened.

It was nothing major, just a chance encounter with an old friend who made me change my mind about what I was going to write about.

I still think I am better than Michael Phelps, and here is why.

1) I never got a DUI.

2) I eat less.

3) I always win by a large margin not a finger nail.

4) What I do I can do alone, not depend on other people.

5) There are no false starts in blogging.

6) My work is intellectual his is physical, when Michael Phelps broke his wrist his career was almost over.

7) I don’t look like David Schwimmer.

8 ) Did I mention I don’t have a DUI?

Now, speaking of DUI’s while at a coffee shop today doing some work, I saw an old friend pop up online.

Mickey Sherman is probably the biggest reason for where I am today.

I met him on the set of the now defunct Court TV show, Live with Catherine Crier

I asked him for his card, and immediately saw results.

Someone was trying to extort money from me, and thanks to Mickey’s son Mark, I was able to fend them off and keep going with my dream of just being funny and inappropriate.

Anyway, after exchanging pleasantries, Mickey told me about his book.

I looked it up online, and read some reviews.

It seems as if he hit a homerun with it, I always knew that Mickey was a great lawyer and a character, but one review that I read made me smile.

NY Post’s page 6 wrote this about his trial style.

“March 19, 2008 — IT’S Delta House to the defense! In his upcoming memoir, “How Can You Defend Those People?,” lawyer Mickey Sherman confesses he bases his courtroom strategy on a rousing frat-boy speech in “Animal House.” Sherman, whose clients have included Michael Skakel and teen rapist Alex Kelly, writes that he tries to sidestep the issue of guilt by blaming the system, just like the frat boys do in the 1978 comedy.” — New York Post

What did I just read?

That’s what I always imagined my courtroom style to be like. (if I were to be a trial lawyer)

I was probably one of the few white people that cheered when OJ was acquitted.

Not because I thought he was innocent, but because those lawyers were studs.

Anyway, I want everyone to read Mickey’s book.

I can guarantee you that you will get a good laugh, some great insight into the legal system and trust me Mickey Sherman can tell a great story.

I mean that’s what lawyers are, great story tellers.

That’s why I would have made a great lawyer.

Unfortunately I was training in the pool for 6 hours a day.

It was really hard, I gave up my teenage years trying to fulfill my destiny of becoming the greatest athlete the world has ever seen.

If it wasn’t for that pesky tumor on my rotator cuff, maybe I would be being interviewed by Costas on TV today.

But the doctors couldn’t scrape the tumor off completely, forever causing my reach to be at a measly 35 degree angle.

I am not bitter though.

I know know that g-d wanted me to be working on websites and online video.

Michael Phelps deserves his medals, however if he ever happenes to be in Connecticut, and happens to get another DUI.

I would highly suggest that he call Mickey Sherman.

How Can You Defend Those People? by Mickey Sherman (you can get it here)

Buy it today and here is why

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our female party guests - we did. But you can’t hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but I for one am not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!”

Now imagine that being said by this guy.