Thanksgiving in July

Thanksgiving in July

I love Palm Springs.

True, it was about 120 degrees today.

Even the pool was 90.

But still, I woke up to a great homemade breakfast.

French toast and something called steel cut oatmeal.

I don’t care how it’s cut, I stayed away from that.

Lunch was burgers and hot dogs, but the best was dinner.

Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, salad and sweet potatoes.

Yum.

So good.

Then we went bowling and McDonalds for Ice cream cones.

What a great day.

On the way home, I checked the news and saw that Barack Obama was on his way to San Diego.

I think it’s funny that he is coming there as I was not in town.

Can you imagine how funny it would be if the sole purpose of his trip was to come get his nuts.

Like, my doorbell rings and there stands two secret service dudes.

I’m in my underwear scratching my balls, and Obama says to me…

“Um, David.

I hear you are selling my chocolate nuts.

I would like to say that Michelle is the only one that knows what my nuts taste like.”

Then I look at him and start laughing.

So Michelle Obama comes up the steps and slaps me.

“I want my husbands nuts back!” she yells.

Just then Shorty comes out of the room in her underwear and starts pulling Michelle Obama’s hair.

As they are fighting protecting their “man” Barack and I high five each other, grab a beer and watch.

After they are done fighting, Shorty and Michelle kiss and make up.

Barack calls me “home slice” and I call him “my ninja.”

That would be great.

But, like I said, I’m not in town.

By the way, my friend Paul Murad invited me to go to the Miss Universe pageant in Vegas tomorrow. I can’t make it, but if you are there and want to hang out with HOT chicks drop him a line and tell him I sent you.

Paul Murad