I love being back in San Diego.
I hate Bank of America.
I will explain.
This morning, I had really bad heartburn.
It was almost unbearable.
So, walking into the convenience store on the corner, I remembered that they have a 6 dollar minimum for debit purchases.
Buying random stuff is always fun.
I took 4 packs of Tums, water, and some nuts.
Swiped my card and it said invalid.
Not happy.
Heart burns.
So, I call up Bank of America.
They tell me, that they disabled my card, because I asked for a visa check card.
Nice of them to do that before I got the new one.
So, I had to go hungry till 4pm.
Made due with stale cookies and chocolate.
Finally, went out for a lunch meeting and had a tomato and cheese sandwich.
Only, they called it Caprese.
Sounds much better in Italian doesn’t it?
Then, went home and now in palm springs.
Actually, Rancho Mirage.
This is like saying “Harlem.”
There are burned out buildings everywhere.
I feel unsafe.
I am actually going to a swap meet tomorrow.
I cannot believe that Frank Sinatra, Gerald Ford and Snoop Dog all have had homes here.
So, I arrived at dinner and guess what there was?
Prime rib.
I tried to resist.
One slice.
Two slices.
Salad.
Dessert.
One more slice.
This food was almost enough to make me forget the burger I ate at Jack in the Box.
Almost.

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Sat, Dec 29, 2007
Fat Jewish News