So now I am thirty.
My back hurts.
My prostate is inflamed.
I hate my kids.
So I did what every 30 year old does.
I went out and bought a sports car.
Die cast metal.
Fits in my pocket.
You know what also fits in my pocket?
A roll of Tums and Tootsie rolls.
I ate some left over kabobs today.
Life now begins.
Thirty is the new black.